Hello everyone,

If your inbox received a message last week titled “The Tigger Times,” I should explain what happened. 

Yes, my cat, Tigger, somehow managed to operate my laptop while I was asleep on the couch. (I’ve really got to remember to turn it off.)

I woke up to a flurry of emails and the distinct sound of him crunching on the catnip mouse Zen hid in my shoe. (I don’t know why he did that. Guess he figured Tigger wouldn’t find it there.)

First, let me address the “cat mistreatment” allegations made against me. Regarding the treat allotment, Tigger is a tad chonky. The vet said to cut back, and I’m just following doctor’s orders. She says three crunchy treats is perfectly reasonable for a cat his size.

Second… Okay, he got me on the chocolate. A writer needs emergency rations, just as much as she needs spellcheck. Maybe more. And when deadlines loom nothing helps me perform like a little dark chocolate. (Note to my husband in case he reads this: the stash of chocolate has been relocated to a more secure location. Good luck finding it!) For the record, if anyone is wondering, no one has filed the stuff in the folder yet. 

Now, as for the blackmail material, I neither confirm nor deny. Did I sing to the cats at three in the morning? I’ll never tell. And that animated movie… well, what can I say? 

After Tigger’s sneaky Err. I mean…

After Tigger’s amazing digital accomplishment, we had a serious office meeting. While I sat on the floor and fussed, Tigger stared down at me from the arm of the chair. Zen was supposed to back me up, but he spent the whole time licking his paws. 

I want to go on the record as saying, “I did not give into his demands!”

However, I do believe in paying my workers well. After intense negotiations, which mostly involved Tigger yowling for treats, we agreed on a raise. The official treat count has increased to four pieces a day and five on Sunday.

Tigger is entirely too proud of himself, but we won’t talk about that. 

Thank you for your understanding and patience in this matter. Regular, human-written programming will resume next week, but for now I need to go change my computer password.

All the best,

Arden (and Tigger, the new union negotiator)

P.S. Do you have a furry dictator in your house? Oops. I meant a furry friend? If you do, I’d love to hear your favorite story about them? Let me know in the comments.